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Final Fantasy XII

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories

New Super Mario Bros.

The Geekiest Pastime there is
Welcome to the Q Review Gaming Department. In this area, I get to pretend I'm a member of the EGM or IGN review staff, and you get to make believe that my opinion about Final Fantasy XIV really matters. Basically, it's an active archive of all my Gaming Reviews from Project Wonderboy, Amazon.com and Earth-2.net. For right now, I'm going with a big list on the main page, but as I get more writeups completed, that'll get to be too bulky, so I'll have to eventually split this up by console. There's a chance you may read some spoilers in this section, so if that's not your bag, back out now. Otherwise, feel free to see what I thought of any particular game.

...and by the way, the three newest reviews are listed along the left hand side of this page.


 
Bad Dudes (Nintendo Entertainment System)
The arcade "smash hit" that I knew, loved and screamed "I'm BADDD" right alongside, finally makes its debut on the old NES. This was one of my earliest video game reviews, from back when I was on-staff at ActionAttackHelicopter, so it's not quite up to snuff when compared with the others.
read more...
 
Bad Dudes
 
 
Blinx: The Time Sweeper (Xbox)
A cat with a super-vacuum, a variety of colorful coats, shiny boots, human teeth and the ability to control time. Watch as he hurls himself into another bottomless pit!
read more...
 
Blinx: The Time Sweeper
 
 
Conker's Bad Fur Day (Nintendo 64)
Nintendo acknowldges their flaws as a children's-only developer and tries to perform an about-face with this tale of a foul mouthed squirrel and his ascent to the throne. If you're looking for a frustrating, rushed, gimmicky pile of crap, I've got just the game for you.
read more...
 
Conker's Bad Fur Day
 
 
Crazy Taxi (Sega Dreamcast)
Sega took over the dying arcade market with this imaginative game centering on adrenaline-addicted taxi cab drivers and their need to drive like complete idiots across the San Francisco landscape. Could they maintain that pace on their new home console, the Dreamcast?
read more...
 
Crazy Taxi
 
 
Elemental Gimmick Gear (Sega Dreamcast)
I'm not sure why I was so excited about finally finding this game, because holy lord did it suck. An odd blend of the RPG, Platformer and Action Adventure genres, I'd recommend you avoid this like the plague.
read more...
 
Elemental Gimmick Gear
 
 
ESPN Football: NFL 2k5 (Xbox)
Sega made a bold play this year, setting their sights on a market that had traditionally been held in a stranglehold by EA Sports and their monstrous "John Madden Football" franchise. They slashed the price. They bumped up the release date. But did they produce a halfway decent football title?
read more...
 
ESPN Football: NFL 2k5
 
 
Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem (GameCube)
One of the earliest games ever released for the Gamecube, Eternal Darkness aimed to dispel any myths that may have gathered in regards to the system's real target market. Where 90% of the N64's titles were apparently aimed at 6-10 year olds, Darkness was meant to be a fresh start for the big red N, hinting at a more mature-themed line that never actually materialized as the years wore on.
read more...
 
Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem
 
 
Fable (Xbox)
It took them something like fifteen years to finally produce this game, and when it eventually arrived on store shelves, it sounded an awful lot like a medieval version of Knights of the Old Republic. Does this middle-aged RPG / Action / Adventure / Dating Sim outpace the modern day LucasArts classic? Does it even keep up?
read more...
 
Fable
 
 
Final Fantasy (Nintendo Entertainment System)
The godfather of all digital role playing games. Screw Ultima, Final Fantasy was the first game to do it right. The kickoff point of my all time favorite series of titles, later replicated and improved upon as part of Final Fantasy Origins on the PSone.
read more...
 
Final Fantasy
 
 
Final Fantasy: Origins (PlayStation)
A reworking, rethinking and rejuvination of two classic, groundbreaking old RPGs from the heyday of the Famicom / Nintendo Entertainment System. Packaging enhanced, cleansed versions of Final Fantasy I and Final Fantasy II, this disc showcases Square's earliest explorations and expansions of theme and gameplay; two factors that would go on to define the entire series.
read more...
 
Final Fantasy Origins
 
 
Final Fantasy VII (PlayStation)
Possibly the most widely-recognized game of all time. Incredibly influential, as it turned the tide in the Nintendo / Sony war for good, and constantly ranked as one of the greatest games of all time. Is this three-disc wonder worthy of all the praise it receives or is it all hot air?
read more...
 
Final Fantasy VII
 
 
Final Fantasy VIII (PlayStation)
The follow-up to one of the most widely-acclaimed titles in history, FFVIII catches a lot of flack for walking in such a decidedly different direction from its peers. What're my thoughts on the matter? Well, let's just say I don't agree with the critics on this one.
read more...
 
Final Fantasy VIII
 
 
Final Fantasy XI (PlayStation 2)
Square-Enix's biggest gamble to date, packing the new episode of its legendary series with the PS2 Hard Drive, (and a hundred dollar sale price) going the online route and charging a monthly... friggin... fee. Can the appeal of one of gaming's strongest franchises overcome the price of admission?
read more...
 
Final Fantasy XI
 
 
Final Fantasy XII (PlayStation 2)
The last chapter of Square's name-maker to appear on the PS2, FFXII also marks a return to the more solitary single-player lifestyle that had previously defined the series. Maybe I was just jonesin' for a return to those familiar pastures, then, because this is one of the best games I've played in years.?
read more...
 
Final Fantasy XII
 
 
FlatOut (Xbox)
Old school destruction derby-style racing bumped up to new levels of carnage, thanks to the unique "eject-o-driver" technology, appearing for the first time in this title. FlatOut's heart is in the right place, but I'm still trying to figure out where its head is buried.
read more...
 
FlatOut
 
 
God of War (PlayStation 2)
Needing a hit to get themselves back on the map, Sony digs up buried gold with this super-violent jaunt through Greek mythology. Incredible boss fights and a deep combat system head up a thoroughly exciting original production.
read more...
 
God of War
 
 
GoldenEye: 007 (Nintendo 64)
The be-all, end-all of console first person shooters. There would be no Halo if there hadn't been Goldeneye. The ultimate party game, thanks to its strong four player support.
read more...
 
GoldenEye: 007
 
 
Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories (Playstation 2)
A rare translation from portable to home console, (isn't it usually the other way around?) Liberty City Stories isn't quite as flawless as its forefathers. While it's cool to revisit the city that started this whole craze, well... I'll just have to explain this in greater detail.
read more...
 
Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories
 
 
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (Xbox)
An insanely expansive map, an equally maniacal soundtrack, a few new tricks and a whole new setting are among the additions on this third (and final) jaunt on the current generation consoles for the world's most controversial video game series. What's wrong with this picture? Well, a lot actually...
read more...
 
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
 
 
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (PlayStation 2)
Rockstar's attempt to follow up on the infamy of GTA3. The series goes all 80s on your ass, complete with leg warmers, neon lights and the greatest soundtrack to ever hit your PS2. IGN.com voted this one "the best of 2002," and I'm inclined to agree.
read more...
 
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
 
 
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories (PlayStation 2)
The second prequel in the GTA legacy to debut on the PSP before making the short, value-priced jump to the big screen. Vice City Stories learns all the wrong lessons from its immediate predecessor and almost nothing from its legendary forefathers.
read more...
 
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories
 
 
Grandia II (Sega Dreamcast)
This Dreamcast RPG has a story that'll make your head hurt, music that'll make your ears bleed and a battle system that's... actually kinda cool. Elements of Chrono Trigger, Star Ocean and Final Fantasy combine to create a mediocre title at best.
read more...
 
Grandia II
 
 
Halo: Combat Evolved (Xbox)
Is this worth the big bucks it's gonna cost you to buy an Xbox? Is the hype full of hot air or the god-honest truth? Well, that'd all depend on your opinion about the First Person Shooter genre. Me, I'm a fan... so...
read more...
 
Halo: Combat Evolved
 
 
Halo 2 (Xbox)
The most important release in Xbox history. While it was the first Halo that brought Microsoft's Xbox to the dance, the responsibility of solidifying that position would fall to the sequel. Would a heapin' helpin' of alien-slaughterin' shoot-em-up action and an unparalleled online offering be enough to do the deed?
read more...
 
Halo 2
 
 
Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy (PlayStation 2)
The first chapter of what would go on to become one of the PS2's most highly regarded exclusive franchises. Quite a humble, unassuming beginning to what seems to have developed into a much weightier, dramatic trilogy as the years have gone by.
read more...
 
Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy
 
 
Jak II (PlayStation 2)
The second chapter in what's come to be known as one of the PlayStation's enduring exclusive franchises, Jak II is in every imaginable way an improvement over its forefather. Yeah, I'm just gonna go right ahead and spoil that for you. A giant leap forward for what was previously an also-ran in the world of the action platformer.
read more...
 
Jak II
 
 
Jak 3 (PlayStation 2)
Completing the trilogy on the PS2, Jak 3 picks right up where its overwhelmingly good predecessor left off. Deep, dark, brooding city? Check. Obligatory comedy bits with a talking animal? Check. Spectacular action sequences? Check and check. That's right, a rare double-check! Elaborate, lengthy gameplay...? ...hello...?
read more...
 
Jak 3
 
 
Jet Set Radio Future (Xbox)
One of the Dreamcast's mainstays gets a chance to shine on a higher platform in this stylish, sensory onslaught set in the not-too-distant future. If I tried to do any of this shit, I'd be upside down in a gutter somewhere.
read more...
 
Jet Set Radio Future
 
 
Katamari Damacy (PlayStation 2)
Namco comes in from out of nowhere with this imaginative, addictive, innocent little gem of a game. Everyday objects have never been this interesting, nor this exciting.
read more...
 
Katamari Damacy
 
 
Kingdom Hearts (PlayStation 2)
The game that the entire gaming world seemed to scratch its head over, featuring an odd combination of Disney and Final Fantasy characters, environments and cliches. Can pretty graphics overcome the burden of a piss-poor camera control scheme?
read more...
 
Kingdom Hearts
 
 
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker (GameCube)
One of the greatest, most important gambles in Nintendo's history. Could Link & Co. help save the GameCube from annihilation in the three-way console war? Is cel-shading the right way to go? I think so.
read more...
 
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
 
 
Max Payne (Xbox)
A translation from the world of the PC-user, Max Payne set out with the intention of capturing the Grand Theft Auto audience, then a PS2 exclusive, for the Xbox market. Which is odd, because it isn't really the same game. At all.
read more...
 
Max Payne
 
 
Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence (PlayStation 2)
Perhaps not learning their lesson from their fanbase's outcry against Sons of Liberty's sins, Hideo Kojima and the team at Konami continue to muck around with their previously-successful formula in this prequel to the groundbreaking original Metal Gear Solid.
read more...
 
Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence
 
 
Metroid Prime (GameCube)
Alongside Zelda, Samus Aran and Metroid has always been one of the big N's reliable workhorses. Retro Studios came in for the big save with this one, transforming the ultimate SNES side scroller into a sound, beautiful First Person Shooter. It does have its flaws, however.
read more...
 
Metroid Prime
 
 
Midtown Madness 3 (Xbox)
A goofy little arcade racer from Microsoft that'll surprise you with its graphics, sound and online play. MM3 lacks the intensity and determination of other racing simulators, which means you're going to have a little more fun driving around town with it.
read more...
 
Midtown Madness 3
 
 
Mortal Kombat: Deception (PlayStation 2)
A mixed bag, complete with variations on Chess, Puzzle Fighting, RPGs and the traditional fighting modes, Deception wears an awful lot of hats. Too bad it doesn't wear any of them particularly well.
read more...
 
Mortal Kombat: Deception
 
 
NARC (Nintendo Entertainment System)
A daring translation of the photorealistic arcade machine to the strictly graphics-unfriendly Nintendo Entertainment System, capitalizing on the big "Just Say No" kick of the day. Being drug free has never been a more violent experience! This was one of my earliest video game reviews, from back when I was on-staff at ActionAttackHelicopter, so it's not quite up to snuff when compared with the others.
read more...
 
NARC
 
 
New Super Mario Bros. (Nintendo DS)
The biggest name in gaming makes an attempt to return to his roots with this side-scrolling 2D / 3D portable adventure. Trust me, it sounds a lot more complicated than it really is.
read more...
 
New Super Mario Bros.
 
 
NFL Blitz (PlayStation)
Midway's arcade hit, bent and twisted to fit within the early limitations of Sony's PlayStation. The premise is strong, but the execution is weak. Later installments fixed this series up, but that can't really help the problems with this one.
read more...
 
NFL Blitz
 
 
Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee (Xbox)
Abe and friends make the big leap from Sony to Microsoft, helping to kick off the Xbox with this beautiful adventure title. If you enjoyed the first two titles in the OddWorld series, this is right up that same alley. Offbeat humor, a fun storyline and killer graphics.
read more...
 
Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee
 
 
Onimusha: Warlords (PlayStation 2)
It's like Resident Evil met The Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver, the two dated for a while, enjoyed some wild times, and suddenly had an unplanned pregnancy. You're Samanosuke, a difficultly-named samurai, fighting undead ninjas and shit. Pretty, original and lots of fun.
read more...
 
Onimusha: Warlords
 
 
Pikmin (GameCube)
Nintendo turns to its knight in shining armor, Shigeru Miyamoto, in an attempt to kickstart their new console, the GameCube. Could the creator of the majority of Nintendo's legendary titles pull another rabbit out of his hat, or would the big "N"'s golden boy start to dull amidst such rabid competition?
read more...
 
Pikmin
 
 
Project Gotham Racing 2 (Xbox)
The premiere racing title for the original Xbox, Project Gotham 2 takes a more universally-appealing, excitable approach to the racing genre that allows it to compete more indirectly with Sony's industry-leading Gran Turismo monster. It's lacking the intense attention to detail of Sony's GT racers, but it's also packed wall to wall with thrills, unique challenges and unprecidented visual realities
read more...
 
Pikmin
 
 
R.C. Pro-Am (Nintendo Entertainment System)
One of the earliest console racers to ever go the violent route. Trigger-happy parents might say this was Grand Theft Auto's great great grandpappy. This was one of my earliest video game reviews, from back when I was on-staff at ActionAttackHelicopter, so it's not quite up to snuff when compared with the others.
read more...
 
R.C. Pro-Am
 
 
Resident Evil: Director's Cut (PlayStation)
The blocky, poorly voice-acted, unsuspecting game that started the whole "survival horror" craze. If you like B-grade horror movies, difficult camera angles and zombie-killin' goodness, this is the title for you.
read more...
 
Resident Evil: Director's Cut
 
 
Resident Evil 2: Dual Shock (PlayStation)
Capcom rocks the boat by releasing an impressive improvement over the original PlayStation zombie massacre. New characters, heavily improved graphics and voice acting, and hours of unlockables. Double the discs, double the action, double the fun.
read more...
 
Resident Evil 2: Dual Shock
 
 
Samba de Amigo (Sega Dreamcast)
One of my all-time favorites. Have you ever daydreamed about controlling the actions of a sombrero-adorned, maraca-toting Mexican Monkey with mucho machismo? This is your opportunity. Of course, it's pretty entertaining if you dig musically-based games, too.
read more...
 
Samba de Amigo
 
 
Sega GT 2002 (Xbox)
Sega throws their name into the racing mix with this next-gen revisiting of a series that had been previously shelved on the Dreamcast. After a few hours behind the wheel, chances are pretty good you'll understand exactly why it was left for dead in the first place.
read more...
 
Sega GT 2002
 
 
Shenmue II (Xbox)
Yu Suzuki, creator of Sega's classics Afterburner, Out Run, Space Harrier, and dozens more, follows up his epic console debut with a slightly less inspiring sequel. I'd probably have given this a better grade if they'd released it on the Dreamcast in the US.
read more...
 
Shenmue II
 
 
Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams (Xbox)
The series that pulled the survival horror genre out of its "blood n guts" rut and gave it a psychological twist. Think about making a special trip to the supermarket for diapers, because this game is going to scare the shit out of you.
read more...
 
Silent Hill 2: Restless Dreams
 
 
Star Ocean: Till the End of Time (PlayStation 2)
The follow-up to one of my all-time favorite Action RPGs, and one of the first titles to really benefit from the Square-Enix merger, there's something missing from this wannabe hit. I wanted to love it, I really did.
read more...
 
Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
 
 
Star Wars: Jedi Starfighter (Xbox)
LucasArts was always one of my favorites in terms of arcade-style flight simulation and dogfighting. I think I played Tie Fighter until there was a big friggin' rut in the disc and I had blisters on my fingertips. So what's the verdict on their latest rehash, starring new characters...?
read more...
 
Star Wars: Jedi Starfighter
 
 
Super Monkey Ball 2 (GameCube)
Man, they must put something in the water over at the Sega offices, because the concepts this place continues to pop out are among the most unique, ingenius, utterly freaking WHACKED OUT things you'll ever see in action. And they're all fun as hell! Here you portray a monkey in a giant, clear plastic hamster ball. And you love it.
read more...
 
Super Monkey Ball 2
 
 
Tales of Symphonia (GameCube)
One of the only RPGs available for the big red N's shiny cubic machine. Symphonia puts a lot of emphasis on its battle system, and very little on its storytelling. Which is OK for the arcades, I guess, but if I'm going to be devoting 50+ hours to something... well, I'm gonna want a little more substance.
read more...
 
Tales of Symphonia
 
 
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2x (Xbox)
A remodeled, refreshened, resculpted re-release of the best THPS of them all. Microsoft's Xbox took their only exclusive peek at the Tony Hawk franchise with this one, but is it worth a purchase or is it just more of the same...?
read more...
 
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2x
 
 
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4 (PlayStation 2)
The legendary series that's defined the extreme sports gaming scene for ages, Tony Hawk 4 introduced new play mechanics that came off as a little bit hokey and under developed. Online play would've been a smooth addition, if everybody on the network wasn't using a "perfect balance" cheat.
read more...
 
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4
 

 


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